ProzacParade

(écrit le 11/01/2006)

now that you're gone, back in 'superbus' Lisbon...

what am I gonna do ? what am I gonna do, Paulo ?

we don't love, and that's fine. we're just friends, or so I think...

no real friend, no boyfriend. the guy I fancy, well, just doesn't fancy me. he doesn't care... ocean's big, yes... yet, too big for me... I might drown in it. I am crazy. All my friend are. Manic depressive of me, of my friends.

everybody leaves me down. I'm numb. Indifferent to my own, self pain... Watcher from outside, from behind. I am my own stalker, dreaming my life, living outside the outer world. Storyteller, manipulator, ... bitch, bitch, bitch...

I hate what I do, I hate what I am. If I were to change my life, I'd change it completely.

'motherfucker's gonna drop the pressure'. but who will ease my pain ? will someone ever take me, at once, in his arms ? am I that ugly ? am I that stupid ? am I that complicated.

playlist 'today 11/01/2005

vanessa daou 'my love is too much'

mylo 'need you tonight'

brigitte fontaine 'conne'

seekness 'loneliness'

vanessa daou 'sunday afternoons'

wes mongtomery 'end of a love affair'

herbie hancock 'watermelon man'